As most of you know this is my second time on the race, and if you were not aware I was on gap year last year and ended up leaving the field early and once I got home the Lord told me that I was not done and he was not done with me through gap year just yet, so here I am sitting in a coffee shop in Antigua, Guatemala on gap year again. I could not be more grateful that I am here, it may have taken a lot to get me back here but I am so glad I am where I am.
When I left last year there was a lot of hurt from leadership and from the program itself and coming back into it there was this huge fear that it would be exactly the same as it was last year, but it could not be anymore different. From the moment I stepped foot back on base I felt the Lord's hand over my squad and our leadership I knew it was going to be a great year and that the Lord was going to do amazing things.
As much as I loved J squad last year my squad now (W squad) will always have my heart. I love each and every person so much and am loving getting to know them more and more each day that we are doing life together. The Lord has not been shy in showing up within our squad since the very first week of training camp. During training camp our squad went through some pretty intense spiritual warfare, in ways I have not seen before, and I knew that this meant that we were getting ready to step into some amazing things and the enemy was trying to do anything in his power to scare us away. The Lord was preparing us to go and walk into some amazing things that he has in store for us these next 6 and a half months together. I could not ask for a better squad, the Lord has been using them to rewrite my idea and my view of a healthy christian community.
As redemptive as this squad has been the Lord has really been using and working in my team the most. My sweet team (team Nissi- God's banner of love over us) has been nothing short of absolutely amazing. I love each person so deeply and love doing life with them everyday. Team Nissi is a group compiled of 7 girls, including our leader, Natalie, Emma, Audrey, Kailey, Skylar, our leader Emmery, and myself and the Lord has continually showed his goodness and his kindness through each person differently and it is amazing to watch them each grow into who the Lord is calling them to be. The way that we each pour into each other and want to be there for each other has been so redemptive and to have a leader who knows what we are going through and is willing to sit and listen and who actively wants to be there for you and do life with you has made all the difference.
I know I still have some more healing to walk through but having a team and leader that will rally around me and be there for me no matter what has really opened my eyes to what a healthy community of women really looks like. The Lord is walking me through a season of redemption and he is doing it so graciously and gently it has been nothing short of sweet and tender. Although it may be really difficult at times I would not trade it for anything in the world. For the first time I feel like I am seeing the Lord for who he really is and for how much he truly loves me. The Lord is so good and so sweet in his timing!!
