Do you ever wonder why it is so hard to write an incredible spiritual experience? Sometimes I wonder if God wanted it that way. Maybe he wants each of us to create our own intimate relationship with the Lord instead of vicariously living through others. In the last week I had my own incredible spiritual experience with the Lord, an experience that is terribly difficult to put into words, but I will still try.
As much as I would love to tell you every little detail from camp, there is not nearly enough time or space for so many words. However, I would love to share how God met me this week. First, let’s appreciate that God meets us where we are. He doesn't say "first you have to find me." God's purpose for our lives is not a game of hide and seek but instead a lifelong journey of intimacy with him.
Let me start by setting the stage: it was late June, and all the World Race Gap Year squads were gathered in Gainesville, Georgia for boot camp. I had no idea that someone could struggle, grow, and love so much in only three days. I got to meet my family for the next nine months. They are an amazing group of young believers that are ready to lay down their comfort and control for the glory of Christ. I also got to learn from amazing speakers and my wise new leaders.
This past week I felt overwhelmed with doubts: "Is this where God wants me?" "Do I belong here?" “Am I strong enough?" Nevertheless, God met me where I was. Even when I was swallowed in doubt, he showed me that he is always faithful, and his purpose will come to pass. He stripped me of all control and comfort and showed me that through the struggles he will sustain me. I had kept God at a need-to-know basis in my life and leaned on my own control instead of his grace. So... as God does, he pushed me out of my self-proclaimed bubble and told me to trust him.
You should probably know that trust does not come easily for me, whether that is trusting my family, a friend, or God. But more than just trusting him, God told me to completely surrender to him. Webster's dictionary's definition of surrender says, "to completely give oneself up into the power of another." That is crazy!! For someone who doesn't trust easily and loves control, this sounds nearly impossible. Nevertheless, even through my doubt, God was so faithful to keep showing me his love this past week.
There is one last thing I want to share with you about boot camp. Over the course of the week, I learned so much through the words of godly teachers. One of speakers said, "Being safe will cost you nothing. Living for the kingdom will cost you everything." He said that everyone has a "price point" where they are willing to give up salvation. It sounds extreme when I say it, but really I had to ask myself, "What is my price point? How far am I willing to go for my faith?" In America we are rarely forced to ask that question or live out our faith in an extreme way. Once we have decided what our price point is, we have to start really living out our faith and put everything on the line for true intimacy with God.
So, when does my mission start? My mission starts now, not in two months when I go to the mission field—Right Now. God has showed me repeatedly this week that he sustains, guides, and loves, so I have no reason to doubt or be afraid. In everything I can trust and rely on God and through him I have no price point. I am far from ready for the missions field, and I doubt I will be ready for the missions field in two months, but I know that God has got me and that I have an amazing community to lean on. So, thank you to my new family (H squad) and leaders who help love and support me.
Love and Blessing
Kristy C
