I came from something I like to call a "controlled Christian environment". Some people may take "a controlled Christian environment" the wrong way and that's not the way I wish it to be taken. Thats because I want to be taken in a way that represents safe place for someone (me) to figure out his/her faith.
Now that aside here is where I came from. I grew up in a household that was rooted and practicing the Christain faith. Which allowed me to find out what kind of man I wanted to be when I grew up. I accepted Christ into my heart when I was only six, but for me at the age of six I didn't really know what it meant. Honestly, I didn't change a thing in my life. I went to church every Sunday with my family and just saw it as a time to see and hang out with friends. This didn't last long for me though. At ten years old I realized that I was in the wrong, and that there was so much more to church than just friends. So at ten I actually accepted Christ into my heart and started living my life for him.
After I accepted Christ into my heart I thought things were going to get easier from then on, but that wasn't the case at all. Matter of fact the next 4 years were the hardest and most painful years of my 18-year-old life. I was being constantly bullied by people that called themselves Christians and by people that didn't believe in God. that bulling and feeling of not being wanted by both sides of the spectrum caused me to fall into a depression that led me to suicidal thoughts. If not by love of my heavenly Father and the love of my family, I can't say I would be here where I 'am right now without them. Thats when the Lord took hold of my heart and made me question everything I did and thought about. With that he allowed me to go in my 3rd year of helping lead children's ministry and really make a difference in those kids' lives. After I realized that God had amazing things instore for me and all I had to do was to follow him with all my heart. So I did I started reading my bible more (which has always been hard for me), but I kept at and didn't let anything stop me from learning more about my creator and how I should treat his sheep.
When things got easier, I started to fall away again and in doing so I lost the intimate relationship I had forged with God. I fell into sin and seemed to be stuck with no way out. Thats when I asked God for a sign that I was in the wrong. Not even the next week I was in the hospital with something we later learned was called Campylobacter. Through this time, I was in the hospital I came to know that this was the sign from God. Immediately I went on a high for Christ but feel off it just as quick. As that happened, I acquired a really bad hand infection that could have caused me to lose my hand or even my life at one point. I think it would have happened too if I had not truly repented from my sins and recognized that has amazing things for me, and the only way I can do those things is if I'm chasing after him. That's exactly what I did I was on the spiritual high of the century. I was happier than I can ever remember being, I was learning and remembering more than I thought was possible for me. After it wore off partly, I didn't let it stop me there I went out and started to make a difference in my daily life. That lead me to realizing that I ' am being called to live out the Great Commision (Mattew 28:18-20). Which I'll be doing by going on the World Race Gap Year.
I went through all this, endured all that; to realize that I’m nothing without God. He put me into a "controlled Christian environment." So that no matter what I faced I would always have my family to have my back and point me in the right direction. A verse that has helped me and can be perfectly related to this is Romans 12:2. It states, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
Sincerely, Luke Risse a Child of God
