"Women's Day" was by far one of my favorite days of Training Camp. I know what some of you are thinking, and no this was not a day where we ditched all of the men on our squads so we could paint each others toes and cry as we watched The Notebook. This was a day filled with fight, passion, togetherness, and literal blood, sweat, and tears. The men spent this day off campus going on a 12 mile hike, but just because we women stayed on campus don't think that we didn't put in work of our own. We went running, completed squats, pushed ourselves through pushups, and absolutely annihilated hundreds upon hundreds of burpees. God taught me many lessons on our "man-free" day of Training Camp and I feel compelled to share some of them with you right now.
One of these lessons came in the form of letting go, and I mean in both a mental AND a physical sense. We had to carry both our day-pack and our backpack to our exercise destination, then once we completed the physical activities that had been assigned to us we were to carry these belongings all the way back to our campsite. If you know me pretty well than you probably know that 1. I'm stubborn and 2. I like feeling like I have some semblance of control within a situation. I pushed myself and pushed my body through the exercises even though I desperately could have used some help in completing them. I wanted my squad to think I was strong, to think that I was capable, and to think that I would be someone THEY could reach out to if THEY needed help. I laugh as I sit here writing this now because I wish I could go back and ask myself why I didn't believe I was worthy of receiving the help that I so desperately wanted to give to my squadmates. As I finished the last of my burpees, feeling fatigued and out of breath I threw my 35+ pound pack onto my back and began searching around for my day pack. One of my friends (although now I definitely see her as more of a sister), Ashley (yes she's the cutie in the picture), was holding onto it and told me "I'm going to take this for you." I assured her that I could handle it and NEEDED to take my own bag. She then let me know that she hadn't been asking if I'd "like" her to take it or not because I had no say in the matter, she was going to carry it for me whether I wanted her to or not...
Immediately the onslaught of lies ensued and in that moment I could have cried simply over the fact of not being able to carry my own bookbag. I felt like I would be seen as weak, I believed I would be viewed as "less-than," and I felt like I had absolutely no control in the situation. As we walked back down to our campsite I pleaded with Ashley most of the way to give my pack to me, but then the realization came. God was using her and this situation to teach me a valuable lesson.
He showed me that letting go is beautiful and so incredibly freeing. He showed me that He is placing individuals in my life who want to walk alongside me and help me when I don't have the strength of my own. He showed me that there is no shame in reaching out for help, and by not doing so we can sometimes rob others of a blessing that God had in store for them. He showed me that I don't need to have control in every situation, all I really need is to trust Him and to trust that all His plans for me are good. He showed me that by allowing someone "in" to help me it didn't make me weak, but rather strong for embracing vulnerability and choosing to lay down my pride.
So Ashley I just want to thank you once again for listening to Papa when He told you that you needed to take my pack for me. It taught me a humbling lesson and touched me more than you possibly know.
- Meagan
*This is just one of the two things God showed me on "Women's Day" of Training Camp. Be sure to subscribe to my blog to find out what the second thing was in an upcoming post!*
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