*Repost from old blog 1/11/2022
Back in Kosovo, I was told that I focus a lot on my defeats and setbacks in my faith and not really on the victories that the Lord gives, however big or small they are. Then on Friday, January 7th, the Lord reminded me of this and then again when I was talking with one of my teammates later that day. In all honesty, this blog might be written just for me to remember them and if that’s the case that’s ok. I’m just writing the victories the Lord has done for me over these last few months.
The biggest victory the Lord has done in my life these last few months has been in boldness and less fear. I’ve written about this before. Being too afraid to even get a word out of my mouth just in small talk, not even in conversations about the gospel. I’ve spent a lot of time praying for this. For the Lord to give me the words to say and to be bold. He has been working!! Compared to how I was in Kosovo I feel so much bolder. When I got into gospel conversations the fear and anxiety would overwhelm me and keep me silent. But the few times I’ve gotten into gospel conversations here in Jordan with people that fear and anxiety aren’t there, at least during the conversations. Sometimes it’s still there when I’m anticipating it. But there were also a few days here in Jordan when I couldn’t wait to go and have conversations with the locals. While I’m still not the one who is ever doing the most talking in those conversations I know that the words that do come out of my mouth are from the Holy Spirit. I can’t do those conversations in my own power nor do I want to.
There have been plenty of other victories over these months. Some I’ve already written about and some I haven’t. I’ve grown in deeper love and desire for God and to know His Word. I know how to hear God better than I ever have in my life. I’ve learned a lot about His Word that I didn’t know before.
The Lord has shown me how to better handle and deal with my anxiety and not just be ok with living with it. I started learning that at the end of my time in Kosovo when my anxiety was worse than it had been the entire race. I learned to determine the lies I was believing about something is far worse than it actually probably ever would be than replacing it with the truth. The truth about what would probably actually happen and the truth of what God says.
Another victory that I’ve had in the race is growing in my knowledge, desire, and use of spiritual gifts. I won’t write much about this one since I already wrote about it here, but seeing God move through these is so great. You get to build both yourself and more importantly the Church up.
I would encourage everyone reading this to remember the victories that God has done in their lives. Just as God commanded the Israelites in Joshua 4:1-7. In our sinful human nature, we so easily forget what God has done and is doing. We need to remember and praise Him for who He is and what He’s done.
