What's up guys?!! Welcome to Day 4 of my month long blogging challenge! Thank you for stopping by to read today's post and if you haven't checked out my posts from the first three days I would love for you to check them out when you finish reading this one! Please feel free to comment on my posts, share them with your friends, and SUBSCRIBEto my blog if you haven't done so. Thanks guys, you're AWESOME!
When Jesus Shook My Porta-Potty
From a very young age I was taught about heaven and hell. Heaven was somewhere in the sky, way up up up above the clouds. Hell was down below; fiery, dark, and unforgiving. Because of this, anytime I thought about God I pictured Him wayyyyyy up in heaven while little ol' me was down here on Earth crying out just hoping that my prayers were loud enough to reach Him. It was as if I was in one picture and He was in a separate one, but the two were still very much related in some way. Two sides of the same coin if you will.
Have you ever heard of The Mandela Effect? Named after the famous Nelson Mandela, this conspiracy theory has to do with remembering something being a certain way, but when going back to look at it, it has changed or is believed to have actually "always been like that." I promise this isn't random, it will come up later on in the blog...
At Training Camp I had the incredible opportunity to sit with one of my Squad's coaches, Kara, and my two Squad Leaders, Brit and Erica, and partake in an inner healing. For those of you who don't know what an inner healing is, and there is no shame because I had absolutely no idea when it was brought up to me, it is when you find healing from a past hurt, trauma, or addiction that God wants to free you from. To simplify even further, I sat down with these three women and Kara facilitated the inner healing by asking me questions that I then asked to God.
God used this time to reveal and bring up moments from my past that I didn't even realize existed. He gently showed me pictures from my past, and some of them were quite heartbreaking to once again witness. However, there was one crucial difference in all of the memories that He revealed to me. When these scenes of my life were actually taking place, it seemed as if I was the only one present. If someone had been there to capture a snapshot of what was going on I would have undoubtedly believed that the picture would just show me. Scared, confused, and lonely me.
During my inner healing God began bringing memories to mind and placed those snapshots before my eyes. Yes, the pictures still showed me, but I wasn't the only one there. I wasn't alone, and I realized for the first time that I had never been alone. Jesus was in those pictures the whole time. He wasn't up above me on some floating cloud, He was right there with me. He was sitting on my bed as I paced in my bedroom crying in frustration. He was sitting cross-legged on the bathroom floor with me when I felt guilty and ashamed from my eating disorder. He was lying right next to me on the floor when I hit rock bottom and thought I had nowhere else to go. I finally saw that He was there and I had been blinded to the truth that He had been in the picture the whole time.
I can see Him now. He sits with me and smiles as I have my quiet time on my front porch swing. He rides shotgun in my car with me as I jam out to worship songs (any songs for that matter, I love me some 80's music). When I go running He's there running alongside me, encouraging me with each and every step. He's in the picture on the good days, the bad days, and all those days in between.
So yeah... I might have remembered my past a certain way, but how blessed am I to have been shown past pictures again and realized the truth that has ALWAYS been.
-Meagan
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