blog from 1/25/2022-
This question is just packed with SO MUCH, and I can't wait to share why I'm choosing to leave for 9 months. If you asked me even a month ago if I was planning on taking a gap year, I would've said no. I mean, why would I? After this semester, I'll be a senior in college. What's the point in stopping now? My entire life has kinda been like that, in a constant state of hopping from one thing to the next, not really taking time to slow down. So for me, a gap year was something that sounded cool but I just wanted to finish school and be done with it. Obviously, God had other plans. Over the first weekend in January me and 2 of my close friends attended the Passion Conference, and WOW. Being in that arena with 60,000 college age kids all worshipping the Lord together and hearing such amazing speakers was such an uplifting experience like nothing I've experienced before. Going into that conference, I expected to listen and learn and come away with some valuable takeaways. I NEVER expected that a single day would change the course of the next 2 years. Before one of the speakers went on stage, I prayed that God would open my heart and show me so clearly whatever He was trying to put on my heart. In that moment, I heard His voice. All He said to me was, "go." I sat there in prayer like, "That's amazing God, but where? Go where? How am I supposed to know?" I prayed for more answers in that same prayer, but again, just "go." The next speaker's sermon immediately after that prayer was about discipleship. I knew in that moment that those moments lined up so specifically for God to speak to me. I still was wondering- where does God want me to go? After getting home that night, I opened instagram and saw that one of my friends, Lucy Rickers, had posted something from Costa Rica. Lucy is currently on the race doing a gap year and it hit me. I spent that entire night not able to sleep, looking at information about the world race. I would try to go to sleep and I just couldn't. All I could do was think about how strongly God had called me to this. Was I making this up? I didn't even want to go on a gap year. I was finally able to fall asleep, and the next day went back to the conference running on one hour of sleep. The second day of the conference was life-changing. Forgiveness, revival, peace, and an even stronger calling from God. I went home knowing this was where I needed to go, but there was still a voice in my head doubting what God had so clearly called me to do. I spent the next few days praying over it, thinking through this crazy choice and all of these doubts would come up. Finances, safety, family, my path vs. God's path for me. And they were all answered the minute I doubted it. I said I didn't want to go because "how am I supposed to raise 15,800 dollars?" My devotional that day was about how God provides through His kingdom and you will be taken care of. But I didn't want to leave my family, are they gonna be okay without me? That day's devotional was about leaving family, leaving people you care about to pick up the cross and follow Jesus. How INCREDIBLE is that? Like clockwork, when I had a worry, God provided peace. When I was wondering if he was really calling ME, I would see a verse like Isaiah 6:8- "And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?' Then I said, 'Here I am! Send me.'" That verse came up again and again in my life for the days when I prayed over this. Even crazier- that was the theme verse for the weekend at Passion. After being certain this was my calling, I applied, a week later was accepted, and here I am writing this post, still in awe that I am chosen by God to leave for 9 months, to 4 different countries, to share His love and further His kingdom across the globe. If you know me personally, you know I don't really make decisions easily. But God's voice was so loud and His calling so strong that 22 days after my calling, I was committing. And I think that alone speaks for itself. This opportunity found me, and more importantly, God found me. And I could not be more grateful and more filled with joy to be able to be a disciple for Jesus. I thank God for that. Thank you for reading this story, and I can't wait to share more with all of you! Goodbye from Atlanta :)
